Sunday, February 8, 2009

A Second Chance

A lot of time has past since I have posted, but I guess I am just not much of a blogger. We are currently pregnant with our second child and only have 6 weeks left (if he comes on time that is)! Yes, I said he. We are expecting a boy, if he comes out any different it will be a big surprise from the ultrasound pic we got! So we have been given a second chance to achieve the birth that we desire. With our first born, we took Bradley Method classes and were looking forward to a peaceful and beautiful natural childbirth. I was in labor for 40 hours with our daughter and almost 5 of that was pushing. Shortly before I started pushing we did decide to allow them to break my water to get her to come down as I was becoming exhausted. At the end of my pushing it felt like she had dropped/moved down more, but upon my midwife checking she noted she hadn't moved, then all of a sudden I felt a wrong kind of pain. It wasn't the typical labor pain I had been feeling all along. It hurt so bad to push and hurt not to push. It pains me still to this day to say that I then requested a c-section. My daughter was face up and chin up and had become wedged/stuck in my pelvis. I feel that drop I felt right before the pain started was her becoming wedged/stuck. For the longest time afterwards I did the what ifs and that I shouldn't have let them break my water, and maybe I shouldn't have, but I am a person who believes that everything happens for a reason. It was hard to get back to my belief that everything happens for a reason and that it would have resulted the same way no matter which route I would have went, but after much time healing I realized I listened to my body and took a very hard step to do what we did in the end and that I should be proud of myself laboring so long naturally giving my daughter all the benefits that labor brings. So I now have my second chance at the birth we truly desire. I plan to VBAC and have been taking steps to aid that in being successful. I have been going to the gym, the chiropractor, and have been having craniosacral work done too. I would have liked to refresh in Bradley, but it just would have taken me away from our daughter too many nights in a row. Right now I am currently reading "Birthing from Within" and plan on reading "Ina May's guide to Childbirth" next. I am excited for this birth, but nervous at the same time. So right now I'm trying to work on confronting the feelings and emotions I have to help achieve the birth we desire as well. Wish us luck on this amazing journey we have before us and that our transition into parenting two goes smoothly as well.